I was an Idiot and a bit of a bully! Being top of the pecking order in school I always had it easy, well so I thought at least. When I was younger and still to this day, I’ve always been friends with people a considerable amount older than me, which in my head lead me to believe I was a lot older than I was. Although I was still young, I was very mature and I used that a lot to my advantage in school, all the way throughout school I always loved confrontation whether it be teachers or a fellow student and if I’m honest, I loved it.
Being a bully & causing trouble, because I could
I used my maturity to my advantage, I’d pick arguments with the ‘scariest’ teachers because I felt fearless, I knew there was nothing they could do and I knew I was clever enough to get myself out of anything they could throw at me. And the teachers who we’re less likely to give out punishments or weren’t very strong with authority, I felt were easy targets, as horrible as it sounds I probably did pick on and bully teachers as much as I did students because again I knew I had the maturity to hold my own in a battle with them. That being said, I was never disrespectful. For me it would be how a teacher approached me, or what their body language was like towards me, I’d know from the minute I walked in the door whether I’d be doing anything in that lesson or not or whether I’d kick off and cause a scene just by the way a teacher greeted me.
The attitude I had towards learning was disgraceful and my mentality made me think I was invincible.
Bullying wasn’t personal, it could be anyone
In school I never, ever, picked on specific people. For me it was always a case of someone being in the wrong place at the wrong time, depending what sort of mood I was in, if I was in a bad mood and it could literally be anybody in front of me. I was ruthless with the way I spoke to my fellow students, I’d largely bully peoples appearance or the people they were with, I wasn’t scared of anybody, whether it be an older student, or someone of my age, but I very rarely troubled anybody younger than me, I wasn’t like that.
In year 11 I really had to get my act together, my attitude towards people and towards my learning got that bad that the school had no choice but to relegate me to the foundation groups (the lower sets). They told me that until my behaviour improved, then that’s where I would stay, meaning that my grades would be restricted and I wouldn’t be able to reach my full potential.
My failings, my fault
My behaviour didn’t improve and my grades we’re restricted purely down to my own behaviour and my own downfalls, due to my stupidity and my idiotic mentality, it restricted the rest of my life and my chances of getting out of Skegness.
Humanutopia were my lifeline, without this company and without me having the ‘Who Am I’ day my attitude and my mentality wouldn’t have changed and I would never be in the position I am, I would still be in Skegness with a seasonal job, and no aspirations.
I changed my ways and I got lucky.
If I were to give a piece of advice to my former self then I would, without a doubt, tell myself not to leave it too late to change because it will all end in tears.